FateShinobi Night
by Lord Mist
Summary: Even the Holy Grail can make a mistake. Well, screw this, thought the Grail. And it forced on with its plan. Set in Shippuuden. No Yaoi. Original servants. [AU]
1. The Grail Screws Up

I own nothing, which makes me sad.

* * *

The Holy Grail was an artefact of great and wonderful mystic power, and that is an understatement. However, even a god can fall prey to that most insidious of evils, boredom. And the Grail was no exception. The Grail wrought its will upon the world, using its will and power to force itself to descend to Earth, and begin the next Grail War.

…Only, it didn't work out as planned. Through some strange quirk of fate, the Grail had crossed large amounts of time to a far, post-apocalyptic period. _Well, screw it, _thought the Grail. And decided to go ahead with its plan regardless. It did recognize that the world was unlikely to know of the Grail War, and that all records would be lost during the apocalypse. But it sensed what could only be a large number of prana sources, and the Grail decided to force them to play.

* * *

It was a normal day for Uzumaki Naruto. He woke up in his apartment, the toad-shaped sleeping cap on his head, rubbed his eyes sleepily and stumbled over to the kitchen to cook and eat some vegetables, dattebayo ! He had promised Sakura-chan that he would eat healthier…but ramen was so tasty ! _Well, ramen has vegetables in it_, he thought, searching for his ramen stash.

Then all hell broke loose.

His chakra acted up on his own, flowing from his body to the wooden floor of his apartment. A blood red seal began forming on the floor, and it kept taking his chakra.

_Is this one of the Akatsuki's plans ?_ Naruto thought wildly, trying to force his chakra back.

Before he could finish panicking, the drain stopped, and the seal was emitting some smoke ominously. Then, it exploded, and he was thrown back against the wall, bumping his head on it.

_Ow._

When the smoke cleared, he was surprised to see…that there was a man standing in his apartment. And not a shinobi, or one of the Akatsuki. This man…was different.

The man looked to be as old as the Sandaime was before he died, at least. He was mostly bald, but with a long flowing white beard. He had on a strange yellow and white cloak-thing that fell to his knees. And he had nothing else on him. No weapons, no kunai pouch, no anything ! Naruto didn't lower his guard though - who knew what sort of freaky jutsu Akatsuki had ?

The man then said, "I ask of you, are you my Master ?"

"Huh ?" replied Naruto, eloquently.

* * *

Kakashi Hatake liked to spend his time at the Memorial Stone, that much was known to most Konoha nin. So when he felt his chakra being forcibly drawn to a seal that had spontaneously formed on the grassy floor, he assumed that the information had been leaked to some other village, and they had decided to come after him. Not hesitating, he lifted up his headband, revealing the famed Sharingan.

He stared at the seal, Obito's eye analysing every minute detail. _This- this is some variant of a summoning !_

Then, the drain stopped, and smoke issued forth. Kakashi ducked, just in time to avoid the large explosion.

_Clever, using my own chakra to fuel an explosion. _

His Sharingan could make out a shape in the smoke, which seemed to clear unnaturally fast. As the smoke finally cleared, Kakashi could see a man standing there.

He had on no village headband, and nothing that identified him. One half of his face was horribly disfigured, and he was dressed in a white jacket and pants. Every article of clothing on him, including boots and gloves, was white. And he had some sort of metallic object strapped to his back. If it was a weapon, it was something Kakashi had never seen before.

The man spoke. "I ask of you, are you my Master ?"

Kakashi stopped cold, not completing the handseals for the Lightning Blade he had started. He stood there for a second, his Sharingan spinning. The Copy Nin was at a loss for words.

* * *

Shikamaru Nara was doing his favourite thing of all time – he was asleep. So he didn't react immediately when he felt his chakra being drained. Cracking an eye open to see if this was another one of his mother's methods to wake him up, he saw…smoke.

"Holy shit !" he cried out, moving as fast as anyone had ever seen him. He was just in time, as the smoke gave way to an explosion, and the bed was bisected by some falling debris from the ceiling.

Shikamaru knew his mother would try everything to wake him up, but he didn't think she'd blow up his bedroom. However, his incredulity changed into…more incredulity, when he saw a man standing in his room.

The man had black hair tied into a topknot, as well as a black beard and moustache. He wore elaborate green and yellow robes, and seemed to be carrying a spear. He wore wooden sandals, much like the ones some ninja wore.

Before Shikamaru could react, the man spoke. "I ask of you, are you my Master ?"

Shikamaru groaned. "What a drag…"

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke had just completed his training for the day. He had torn apart another fifty of Orochimaru's failed experiments who had been gifted to him by the Snake Sannin as jutsu targets. They did put up a fight, but it was nothing the avenger couldn't handle.

Then he felt his chakra, already low from the battle, being drained by a seal on the floor.

_Is this another one of Orochimaru's tests ?_

Sharingan spinning, Sasuke realised two things. One, it was a summoning seal. Two, it looked like it would explode. He jumped away, landing on a tree branch. His crimson gaze seemed to pierce the smoke, but the man who stood before him looked at his threatening visage and laughed.

He was a tall, muscular man, but not overly so. He had on a bronze helmet, chain mail, and carried a large shield and a short sword. He was tanned and had a black, bushy beard. He wore what looked like leather boots, and he boomed, "I ask of you, are you my Master ?"

Sasuke scowled.

* * *

Yakushi Kabuto knew his place in life. It was at Orochimaru's feet. He longed for more, but the Snake Sannin was too strong, too wary, and too cruel for him to even consider the possibility of overthrowing him. He had been working for the Akatsuki on the side, though, as a spy, although he had double-crossed them.

So when a seal spontaneously appeared on the floor , and began draining his chakra, before exploding loudly, Kabuto was sure the Akatsuki were taking their revenge. Or was it Orochimaru, who had finally grown suspicious ?

He watched the man who stood in the smoke warily. The man shone. He had on blindingly bright golden armour on his torso, and wore more jewellery than Kabuto had seen on one person. He had on shining earrings, a necklace, some sort of crown on his head, a waist-belt that also seemed golden, and golden knee-guards somewhat covered by a green tunic. But Kabuto could tell this man was a fighter. He was tanned, with well-developed muscles. And his gaze was steely, focusing on Kabuto. He looked young, perhaps younger than Kabuto himself. But there was no doubt as to his deadliness.

"I ask of you, are you my Master ?" said the man, in a strange accent.

Kabuto pushed his glasses up with his finger, the light shining eerily off them. Things had just gotten more _interesting_.

* * *

Orochimaru of the Sannin had many enemies. Not many had the nerve, or the ability, to attack him head on. So he had grown used to assassination attempts, had beefed up his defences. Yet somehow there was a seal on the floor, and it was taking his chakra.

Orochimaru hissed, drawing Kusanagi from his stomach. He moved back as the seal exploded, ready to skewer anyone who so much as moved.

What he did not expect was to see a kneeling girl before him. Her long golden hair, left loose and reaching to her waist, shone. She wore chainmail over a green tunic, and a blue skirt that ended at her knees. A shield was strapped to her back, but Orochimaru's gaze was drawn to the sword at her waist, that seemed to reek of killing intent and evil.

"I ask of you, are you my Master ?" she said, voice sounding harsh.

Orochimaru licked his lips. "What if I said I was ?"

* * *

No one but Konan and Madara knew of Nagato's existence. To the rest of the Akatsuki, he was Pain. To the world, he was a mystery. To Amegakure, he was their saviour. Eyes with concentric circles narrowed as he saw a mysterious circle forming in front of him and absorbing his chakra. His mind flew to Madara. Was he getting rid of Nagato ? Or was it another one of Danzo's assassination attempts, this time somehow aimed at his real body ? Instantly, he summoned the Six Paths of Pain.

The animated bodies stood impassively, shielding Nagato, as the circle exploded. Preta Path took the force of the explosion, only mildly burnt. Deva Path raised its hand, ready to blow away any intruder.

What Nagato saw was a man so muscular as to make even Maito Gai look like a weakling. His skin was white, but with a greyish tinge to it. He wore nothing but a white cloth fashioned at his waist that extended to his knees. He had an unkempt beard, and long, unruly hair, that seemed to have never seen a comb. Impressions of chains could be seen on his naked torso. The man stood, towering over everyone there, easily two feet more than any of the Six Paths, and twice as broad.

The man asked, voice low and rumbling, "I ask of you, are you my Master ?"

A moment's silence, and the Six Paths responded, voices synchronizing, "I am God."

* * *

So ? How was the story ? Any critique is welcome, but please don't flame. I understand I haven't followed the Nasuverse canon perfectly, but give me a little license.

See you soon !


	2. The Hokage Wants Sake

I own nothing.

To the reviewer: EMIYA might be turning up. Maybe. It depends. It definitely won't be anytime soon, though.

* * *

"Who the hell are you, old man ?!" shouted Uzumaki Naruto, his body positioned instinctively into his fighting stance, once he recovered from his shock. It wasn't everyday your floor exploded and strange old men appeared, after all.

Speaking of the explosion- Naruto's heart stopped. _No, it can't be. Nononono-_

He forced himself to look to his right, and nearly fainted. The explosion had torn apart his ramen stash, pounds of ready-to-eat ramen turned into fine dust. He looked at the old man, eyes shadowed.

"YOU HARMED THE RAMEN !" With a berserk roar, Naruto flung himself at the old man, shooting his right hand forward in a vicious jab aimed at the man's head. The man barely side-stepped, but then- caught his hand and stared at it for a second, before shaking his head. "It seems you are my Master."

"I'm your-what ? Look, you old fart-"

"Ah, the excitability of youth. Can you not allow me to explain ?"

Naruto crossed his arms. "Fine, go ahead", he said, shooting the man a suspicious glare.

"Thank you." replied the old man, "Now, take a look at your right hand."

Naruto did, only to nearly keel over in shock as some sort of marking was now etched into his hand.

"YOU GAVE ME A TATTOO ?!"

* * *

Kakashi Hatake thought he must have misheard. "Excuse me ?"

The man in white repeated, "Are you my Master ?"

Kakashi did not know what to do. On one hand, he had always wished someone would say those lines to him. But on the other, in his dreams it was scantily-clad catgirls doing the talking, not strange men in white.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I have no clue what you're talking about." replied the masked ninja, hoping that this man did not mean it in the way those girls in Icha Icha did.

The man in white sighed, and said, "Show me your hands."

Kakashi took a step back, and carefully- eyes not moving from the man- lifted both hands to head level, turning them this way and that.

"Remove your gloves !" snapped the man.

Kakashi obeyed, only to freeze when his right hand bore some sort of strange marking on it. _What the-_

"So you are my Master." The tone this was said in raised a small amount of irritation in Kakashi.

"…Perhaps we had better talk to Hokage-sama." suggested the ninja. _And hopefully you go bother her instead._

"Who ?"

Kakashi sighed. This was going to be a long day, he just knew it.

* * *

Tsunade Senju was busy. That was what she had instructed her secretary to tell any visitors. She had urgent business that demanded her undivided attention. _Yes, _she thought to herself, _they believed me…suckers ! _She stared at the door and windows with apprehension. Her hand reached for her sake bottle. She could feel the amazing taste of cool sake- so close-

"Hokage-sama." cut in a monotone.

She resisted the urge to groan. Hatake Kakashi had just come in through her window. She'd have to get that barred up soon. Struck by the idea, she noted it down on a piece of paper.

"Yes, Kakashi." she ground out, looking at the man. To his credit, he tried his best not to flinch. But Tsunade saw the slight tensing of his shoulders, and inwardly cheered.

"I believe…we have a problem."

Tsunade was just about to ask what the problem was. When chaos broke out.

"BAA-CHAN ! THIS CREEPY OLD MAN IS FOLLOWING ME ABOUT !" The dulcet tones of Uzumaki Naruto broke her out of her reverie instantly. She could feel her head throbbing. Uzumaki Naruto almost kicked down her door rushing through.

And then it all happened.

The old man who had been trailing behind Naruto took one look at the window, and in a sudden display of power and speed she would have never thought him capable of, shot forward at Kakashi, hand blazing with green fire.

Kakashi cursed, reacting perhaps a second too late, hoping the fire would only hit him in a non-vital area.

CLANG.

A man in white had also come through the window, and got in the way of the old man with speed that rivalled Gai's. The white man was using some sort of metal thing Tsunade had never seen before, catching the green, flaming palm on it. The two were at a deadlock, staring each other down.

Naruto was staring openmouthed at the creepy old man who had suddenly shown startling power. Kakashi was halfway through the seal sequence for one of his destructive jutsu. Tsunade stood up, slamming her palm onto the table. Everyone stared at her.

"I can see what you meant, Kakashi." she said dryly, resisting the urge to rub her head.

* * *

Tsunade wasn't the Hokage for nothing. In seconds, she had the mess sorted out. She had ordered Naruto to control his old man, ignoring his protests that "he isn't my old man, you hag!". She asked the white man to stand down as well. Perhaps it was the order, or perhaps it was the fact that she certainly looked like she would kill someone, but the old man had instantly gone back to Naruto's side when Naruto had asked him to "stop being all green and flamy and to leave Kakashi-sensei alone". The white man had seemed to raise his metal thing to point at Naruto, but Kakashi had caught it and asked him not to, and he also stopped, standing near Kakashi.

"Now." she said, staring at the two men. "Who are you ?"

The two men glared at each other, before replying.

"Caster." said the old man.

"Assassin." said the white one.

That explained nothing to Tsunade, although she was worried about the assassin. Who was he here to kill? And why had he protected Kakashi ?

"You'll have to explain further." she said.

"I need my Master's permission before I explain the situation to anyone not associated with it already." replied the old man.

"Likewise." growled Whitey, as Tsunade had nicknamed him in her mind.

"And who is your Master ?" she asked. _Not Orochimaru please, not Orochi-_

"Him." said the two, with the old man pointing at a baffled Naruto, and Whitey pointing at a not-so-baffled-but-still-confused Kakashi.

"Go ahead." replied Kakashi. "I'm in the dark as well."

The old man- Caster, she thought – was staring pointedly at Naruto, who seemed to be in no state to reply.

"Naruto." she growled, getting the boy's attention.

"Uh, yeah, sure." he said.

So they explained.

* * *

"Let me get this straight." said an annoyed Tsunade. "You two are heroes from history. There is a war going on, between seven people who have been selected by this Holy Grail thing, and each of them has one Servant. Naruto and Kakashi were selected, but you have no idea who else was. The winner gets a wish, for any freaking thing they want." She broke off her rant to stare at Naruto, who seemed to mumble something about _unlimited ramen._

"Each of you has different skills, based on your 'class'. And you have special abilities and a real name, but you won't say it because it can compromise your abilities." She stopped again, this time to glare at Kakashi, who was giggling at his Icha Icha.

"Right. So I need you two to-"

A green and yellow robe wearing man walked into her office, trailed by a reluctant looking Shikamaru. And then it all happened again.

Caster was charging with his green fire. Assassin was bringing up his metal thing. The strange man's eyes glinted.

_Two Servants. Same room, no conflict. Air of authority from yellow-haired woman. Both Masters, including mine wearing same symbol on metal plate. Blonde woman and Masters recognize my Master. All moving to intercept attacks._

The man did nothing, and it seemed for a second as if he was sure to be hit. However, Naruto and Kakashi had moved in time enough, this time more used to the sudden motion, and the attacks were stopped.

"Come in, Shikamaru. I suppose you're a Master, too ?" said the Hokage, with irritation evident in her voice.

Shikamaru grunted his assent, slouching over and leaning against the wall.

"And you." she said, fixing the new arrival. "Who are you ?"

"Lancer, at your service, your Highness." replied the man, bowing.

Tsunade blushed slightly. "Why did you do nothing ?"

"I could not react in time, your Highness." he replied.

Shikamaru cut in. "Tch, troublesome. He noticed that Kakashi and Naruto also had the leaf symbol on their headband, that their servants were co-existing, that they knew me, and knew that we would stop the attack."

"So you are clever, Master." replied Lancer, eyes twinkling. "However, deception is the greatest weapon we can possess. It is always good to be underestimated."

Shikamaru grunted once more.

Tsunade wanted her sake so badly now.

* * *

Please review ! They are the spice of life, after all. 3

Ja Ne !


	3. The Sharingan Sees All

I own nothing. Sigh.

* * *

"_What if I said I was ?" said Orochimaru._

The woman stared at him with a steely gaze. "Then I would obey your command. However, were I to find out you lied, you would not live to see the dawn."

"Oh ?" smiled, Orochimaru, before _blurring_ from existence to appear next to the woman, swinging his Kusanagi at her. The woman reacted equally quickly, drawing a sword –not the one that had caught his attention, noticed Orochimaru with a frown – and parrying Kusanagi.

Orochimaru was impressed. That was not his full speed, but the woman seemed to have little to no trouble defending at a speed that most Jounin would be hard pressed to match. _Kukuku…she will make a good ally._

"I am your master." said the Snake Sannin, "It was my _chakra_ that went to the circle that summoned you."

"Very well, Master." the woman replied, bowing. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Servant Saber."

"Very well, Saber-chan. I am Orochimaru, of the _Densetsu no Sannin_, the leader of Oto-" Orochimaru broke off with a frown, and stared at the woman. She seemed to be glaring at the wall. This would not do. His servants had to listen, to obey, and to respect him. He was about to make a pointed comment, when the woman charged at the wall. At. the. wall. Orochimaru blinked. Was she perhaps crazy ?

Saber broke through the wall with ease, the force of her charge shattering the concrete structure. She followed her route, steamrolling over any obstacle into her way, until she burst into the training area. Orochimaru followed, a few paces behind her.

In the training area stood Sasuke Uchiha, a strange man, and the remnants of the same summoning circle that was in his room. Orochimaru had to keep himself from laughing. Things were going so well ! Not only did he gain an ally, but Sasuke-kun did too ! When he took over the Uchiha's body, he would have two Servants.

His thoughts were interrupted when Saber charged at Sasuke, sword flashing in the air. Sasuke responded, blowing out a stream of fire in her path, but Saber _leaped_ over the fire, descending on Sasuke, sword out-

The strange man interposed himself, blocking her with his sword.

"Saber." he boomed.

"Rider." she growled.

Orochimaru ordered her to step back. Sasuke scowled at the man, who seemed to interpret this as a sign to stop. The two stood by their respective Masters, eyes fixed on each other.

"Explain." said Sasuke, glaring at Orochimaru, as if this was all his fault.

"I'm as in the dark as you, Sasuke-kun. Perhaps we should ask Saber-chan and Rider-kun to explain ?"

And so they did.

* * *

It was perhaps the thought of getting one wish for anything in the world that distracted Orochimaru and Sasuke. It was possibly this that prevented them from noticing the eavesdropper, otherwise a shinobi of Orochimaru's calibre would no doubt have located him, to say nothing of the Sharingan.

And when the explanation finished, they were further distracted by the fact that Sasuke had decided to eliminate his immediate competition, ordering Rider forward. The man obeyed, and the two Servants fought with each other, the sounds of clashing blades echoing through the area.

Orochimaru sighed. _So impulsive. _Aloud, he said "Sasuke-kun, perhaps it would be a better idea to team up for now and remove the remaining five people, hmm ?" Orochimaru carefully kept himself from appearing too eager. It would not do for Sasuke to suspect him.

"Hn." grunted Sasuke, and seemed to agree. The fighting ceased, the two Servants now even more wary of each other.

The aftermath of the battle further prevented either shinobi from noticing the eavesdropper's hurried retreat. And the eavesdropper had his own plans to make now.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." swore Kabuto. He had heard every single thing the two had been saying to each other. When he had noticed the woman – Saber – recognize the presence of the man – Rider, was it not ? – he had instantly commanded his Servant to retreat as far away from them as possible. It was just sheer, blind luck that Saber and Rider had been closer to each other than to his Servant, and hadn't picked up on him first.

Kabuto had no illusions. He knew that Orochimaru would not treat him as he did Sasuke. He knew the Snake Sannin wanted Sasuke in good humour, and was eventually planning on stealing his body. Therefore, the wily snake was willing to let Sasuke have his servant. However, he was an entirely different matter.

He had been useful to the Snake Sannin so far- he was his right hand man and second-in-command. Yet none of these came close to the _sheer, overwhelming power _of a single wish for anything. And he knew Orochimaru would not hesitate to either force Kabuto to hand over his Servant or kill him outright and take the Servant for himself.

He could not give up this power. This was his only chance to overthrow Orochimaru, with his newfound power. He exhaled loudly, forcing himself to calm down. Gears in his mind began turning, looking, almost _hunting _for a way to turn this to his advantage. In a minute, his mind had responded, coming up with the best case scenario.

_Now if only I had some way to contact him…_

Kabuto nearly yelped in surprise when a voice responded in his head. _You can contact me like this, Master. _Controlling himself, Kabuto quickly outlined his plan to his Servant.

_This is dishonourable. _

_I do not care, _Kabuto snapped mentally.

_One must never betray his King. When I was but a teen, mine sent me to war against superior forces-_

_Was your King a good person ? _cut in Kabuto. Being a spy had given him some sense of understanding and manipulating human behaviour.

_Of course. _His Servant seemed offended that Kabuto had dared question his King's morality.

_Well, mine isn't. _And Kabuto quickly transmitted as much information about Orochimaru's twisted, degrading experiments as possible to his Servant. He took care, though, to keep _his_ part in all of it secret.

…_I see._ replied the Servant, after a pause. Disgust and some rage seemed to be filtering through the mental link. _And what will you do upon betraying him ?_

_Why, fix everything, of course. _replied Kabuto, trying to keep his mind as blank as possible. The honor-bound fool would believe him, and once he had won- once he had his wish fulfilled – it didn't matter what this idiot did anymore

_Very well. _

Kabuto could barely keep the grin off his face.

* * *

It was the next morning that the Otogakure base awoke to a sudden explosion. The westernmost side of the wall surrounding their village had just been torn apart, in a fiery conflagration that seemed to consume even the cement and stone of the wall.

Defenders rushed to the breached area, expecting an assault by enemy shinobi, most probably from the leaf.

They saw no one. They heard a faint _whoosh._

Then, one by one, they died as arrows struck them at points of the body that produced an instant kill.

Orochimaru arrived at the breach, Saber following him, only a step behind. His eyes flashed from side to side, and noticed the dead. Dismissing them as unimportant, he watched carefully, as the elite of his village – including Kabuto – lined up behind him and Saber, alert.

Sasuke did not bother to show himself, choosing to perch on the rooftops of the village, Sharingan spinning. He would step in only if it was someone he deemed worthy of facing him. Like Itachi, his eyes narrowing as he thought of his brother. Or, he admitted to himself with a frown, the _dobe._

Rider sat beside him, clearly enjoying the fun. "Maybe we'll be lucky, and Saber will die."

Sasuke grunted.

More silent _whoosh_es were heard, and through reflexes born of years on the battlefield, Orochimaru moved away in time as an arrow passed harmlessly through the space that his head had occupied mere _seconds_ earlier.

Saber seemed to be the only other person targeted in that volley, and she had chosen to use her shield to deflect them. So they attacked him and Saber- a different Master then ?

"Archer." growled Saber.

So his guess was correct then.

_Whoosh. _Dodged.

A third volley. Orochimaru moved away, only to find no arrows had remotely come near him and Saber. Instead, four arrows with chains attached to their ends had stabbed into the torsos of four people. Three of his elites – and Kabuto.

Even as Orochimaru moved to snap the chains, drawing Kusanagi, a fresh volley forced him to abandon that plan, stop and deflect the arrows. When he captured this Archer and his Master, he would die. _Painfully._

Before he could do anything more, however, the chains suddenly retracted, pulling the stabbed along with them in a harsh jerk, drawing their bodies into the forest.

_So the Master of Archer wanted hostages ? Or information ? _ Orochimaru swore, ordering his men forward into the direction in which the bodies had gone.

They had barely taken a few steps into the forest when it _exploded, _a rain of hellish fire and broken tree trunks skewering and burning the unfortunate few who headed the company, and turning the forest into a impassable blockade for a few minutes at least, until a suitably large jutsu could be prepared. Orochimaru could make out burnt explosive tags among the debris. _Whoever it was, he spent some time here, planning._

Now there was no hope of capturing the Archer, nor retrieving his men. Orochimaru hissed, turning back to re-enter his village. The idiots who were on patrol yesterday and did not notice the traps would be skinned alive.

* * *

Kabuto awoke, coughing and in pain, as an arrow was withdrawn rather forcefully from his midsection. He nearly blacked out again, but forced himself to stay awake and channelled his prodigious healing ability to the wound.

"..Success." he gasped.

The golden Archer did not reply, impassively looking at Kabuto. His eyes were a warrior's even though he looked only about fifteen or sixteen.

Kabuto chuckled to himself. _Now I can act in the shadows._

* * *

Sasuke turned off the Sharingan. It had just been a pathetic sneak attack unworthy of his time, and Rider and he had no more concrete information than the fact that Archer was extremely good with a bow and arrows – a given, really. However …

He had seen Kabuto tense himself even before the volley that had killed him was in sight. It could have just been the tenseness of battle…but Sasuke was not so sure.

_The Sharingan sees all…Kabuto. _he thought to himself, sure that Kabuto was somehow involved in this attack. Was he the spy who had revealed the information to the attacker on the best way to attack the base ? Or was he the Master himself ? Sasuke wasn't sure, but he vowed to watch for the silver-haired medic anyway.

As for Orochimaru…he saw no benefit in telling him about this. If Kabuto was alive, and managed to kill Orochimaru for him…well, so much the better.

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW !


	4. The Hair Grows Shorter

I own nothing.

And yeah, my chapters are short. I try to compensate for that by updating quickly, but I'll try to make the chapters longer. ^^ This one, for example, is more than 2k words.

* * *

Saito Himura had to force himself to maintain the usual, blank-faced and obedient expression of the ninja who had to serve Pein. _Today is the day, oh yes. _He was currently wandering in the maze of markets around the large, tower-like structure that housed the so-called God of Amegakure.

Five Chuunin were always posted to the tower. For whatever Pein wanted the world to believe, he was not the sole, universally-accepted ruler of Amegakure. He was not the God to every single shinobi under his command.

Due to Amegakure being a small nation with a small active roster of shinobi, Pein had been forced to retain some of the lower-ranked shinobi who had been in Hanzo's army. He had sought to remove – and that meant, execute – all the ones close to Hanzo's regime, but he could not _practically _rid the forces of anyone who had ever sided with Hanzo. _Not if he wants Ame to have even a half-decent army, _noted Saito.

Somewhere along the tedious process of multiple background checks, psyche profiles and loyalty tests, a mistake had been made. Saito Himura was a dedicated, die-hard Hanzo supporter. A Chuunin by rank, but a Jonin by skill, missing out on becoming Jounin only due to the Civil War that broke out. And he was not stupid.

He had spent the last few years acting as one of those brain-washed _fools _he saw on a daily basis, who spent all their time worshipping Pein. He had not remained idle, indeed, he had built up a support base of eight people. Two Jounin, including himself, and six Chuunin.

He knew this was not enough to kill Pein. He had seen the man, no, the _monster, _tearing through the ranks of Hanzo's army, and easily dispatching Hanzo himself. Six Chuunin and two Jounin were mere fodder to him. So he had waited, and he had watched.

And Lady Luck had smiled down on him. He had suddenly found himself being approached by shadowy figures, who claimed to know of his allegiance and offered him a new, experimental weapon they had just come up with.

Initially, he had thought this another one of Pein's convoluted loyalty tests, and pretended to fight back against the shinobi. However, when he went on fighting and no one seemed to call off the test – even when he injured one of them badly – he began to think, to _hope, _it might be genuine. And it had so turned out to be.

The shadowy figures had made good on their word, and he now had in his possession something that could make all his dreams come true. _Saito Himura, ruler of Amegakure. That has a nice ring to it, _he smiled to himself.

Today the rotation schedule of the Chuunin favoured him. All five of the people posted were his men. All they had to do was handle the two ANBU who patrolled the stairs, make it to Pein's lair before the alarm was raised, and use the new weapon on him.

They began at thirteen hundred hours on the dot, when the surrounding market was the least busy as people returned home to escape the noontime sun. Saito casually strolled near the tower, and scratched his neck.

At this signal, the ninja _blurred_ into motion. All five Chuunin, and Saito, darted into the Tower. One of the Chuunin made a few quick handseals, and a _Mizu Bunshin _was created to stand outside the entrance and inform anyone who asked that Pein was in a meeting and did not want to be disturbed by anything short of an invasion. The clone was ordered to toss in phrases such as "This is God's Will." during its speech to convince any of Pein's fanatical followers. _A nice touch, _mused Saito.

A second Chuunin, the sole female of their group, quickly unsealed a scroll that contained an amount of human blood, and proceeded to douse herself with it, while casting a low-level Genjutsu that made her look wounded. The real blood would fool the senses of smell, touch, and taste if that eventuality arose, while the Genjutsu would handle the rest.

The remaining three Chuunin moved to three points of the room and cast a sound-cancelling jutsu over the entire tower. When they made the 'okay' symbol, the female Chuunin proceeded to rush up the stairs while shrieking loudly, as if in pain. The rest of the party followed behind, taking care to remain quiet.

One of the ANBU, as predicted, landed near the Chuunin, who was by now pretending to have collapsed to her knees due to the injuries. As he neared her, she brought her hand up in a vicious arc, hidden blade flashing, stabbing through the ANBU's neck. Even as the man choked on his own blood, she cold-bloodedly threw the knife at the second operative, who had also been closing on her.

The second operative was not nearly as close as the first, and he managed to avoid the knife without serious injury, but he was also cut down in short order by the hidden force of Chuunin and Jounin who proceeded to stab him in the back as he moved to kill the woman.

_I love it when a plan comes together. _smiled Saito.

Like a well-oiled machine, the team moved on to the next stage. The north-facing window was broken, and within seconds, the last two members leaped in through the window, carrying a cylindrical object as tall as a man between them. The team surged forward, confident, yet apprehensive at the same time.

Breaking into Pein's room was easier than expected, as the lock was easily snapped by a basic lightning technique. When they entered, they noticed Pein.

All six of him.

While he was still recovering, the cylinder, now unwrapped, was pointed straight at what they believed was his primary body, the one who could control gravity. The five Chuunin took their positions, charging the device with chakra. A bright, flashing light could be seen at the end of the device-

Which then _exploded._

When the device exploded, Saito knew he had been betrayed. The bastards – whoever it was who had given it to him – had planned to not only kill Pein, but also him, in the fiery explosion that nearly tore apart the very foundations of the tower.

_Did we at least succeed ? _wondered Saito, coughing from the smoke. And then his heart fell.

Through the smoke, six silhouettes were visible, clearly unharmed. But not only that, there was a seventh silhouette. One twice the size of anyone in the room. And that seventh person _roared, _the very force blowing away all the smoke, allowing Saito – and the other Jounin, who had also run for cover in time – to catch a glimpse of the new arrival.

He was huge. Saito's mind refused to function beyond that, and he didn't even notice the man's features. His eyes and mind were drawn towards the man's form, and the fact that he seemed capable of surviving a massive explosion at near-point blank range.

And then, as the smoke fully cleared, amidst the silence, Deva Pain _smirked, _and said one word. "Berserker."

With a roar, the massive man – no, beast – fell upon Saito and the other Jounin. Cursing to himself, Saito shouted, "Emishi, plan Alpha Four !" and forced his somewhat battered body to avoid the mad rush of the beast.

Emishi was already partway through his seal sequence, and Saito followed quickly.

"**Eight Heavenly Dragons.**" intoned Emishi, releasing a large sphere of lightning that seemed to glow. As the beast stood, seemingly confused by the light, the sphere split itself into eight, coiling tendrils of lightning that struck the beast _simultaneously_, enveloping the beast in a cloth formed of lightning. Eight, ghostly yellow dragon heads seemed to dance across the cloth. As the beast struggled, Saito took his chance.

"**Ninth Dragon Flashing Thrust."** With a simple thrust of his palm, a sword of water raced towards the enveloped beast. It struck the beast on the neck, and Emishi and Saito ran away as far as possible.

The water merged with the lightning, short-circuiting it, and causing the already wild lightning to rage uncontrollably. The air around the beast superheated, reaching temperatures hot enough to fry brains. Then the whole thing _exploded, _raining wave after wave of furious debris around the battlefield.

Emishi and Saito covered their faces, preferring to allow their hands to be burnt by the backlash of heated air instead. They had this only as one of the few "last-resort" moves, since it took quite a bit of chakra and had the possibility of injuring them.

"Now what's the plan for the six of them ?" hissed Emishi.

"We can't win anymore." It hurt Saito to admit it, but he was a realist first and foremost. "He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day."

But Emishi was beyond listening. Saito, stunned beyond all belief, watched as the completely _unharmed_ beast tightened its grip on Emishi's arms, crushing them and causing the man to scream in agony. With a roar, it caught his legs, and _ripped him in half. _

Saito didn't even move as the beast bore down on him. His mind was beyond all reason, his body shocked into paralysis. He wasn't even able to scream, as his life ended in a spray of blood and sinew.

_I was wrong…Pein isn't a monster. This…this thing is._

And Saito Emishi, almost-Jounin, devoted follower of Hanzo, and failed revolutionary, lost himself to the embrace of death.

Nobody noticed the beast's hair was now a good few inches shorter than it had been before the assault.

* * *

In a shadowed bunker underneath Konoha, a black-clad shinobi knelt before his leader.

"Report."

"Pein is alive."

His leader showed no emotion, but the shinobi would have been surprised only if he had.

"What of the rebels ?"

"All dead."

"Due to the unstable weapon we provided ?"

"Five of them. The remaining two were later killed in battle."

"Pein." A statement, not a question.

The shinobi paused. "…No." He replied, eventually.

The leader raised his eyebrow slightly.

"Pein seems to have acquired a new ally. This person is none of the members of Akatsuki we already have encountered. The man was massively muscled, and took no damage even after taking a powerful dual elemental combination assault. He then tore apart two Jounin with sheer physical strength."

"This is…troubling."

A pause, and the shinobi remained where he was.

"Leave me."

With a bow, the man vanished.

The leader turned to observe one of the paintings mounted on the walls of his room. This one represented a beautiful geisha beside a lake. It was only on close observation that one noticed the knife that she was slipping into her hand.

_Such is the ninja. Such is Root. _thought Danzo, to himself, before turning away. _Now how to deal with this new problem ?_

* * *

"If the Grail seeks battle…then it must have given the remaining Servants to our enemies." hissed Orochimaru.

"Hn." grunted Sasuke, the slight inclination of his head the only thing that showed his agreement.

Rider and Saber nodded.

Orochimaru broke out into laughter. "Konoha again."

Sasuke inclined his head once more.

"Now, Sasuke-kun, if we want the Grail, we must find the remaining Masters and Servants and defeat them as soon as possible."

"Obviously." replied Sasuke.

"However, even if the fools have realized the purpose of this tournament, they are unlikely to be aggressive toward us. And we can not simply rush in and search for Servants. Tsunade-hime and the perverted idiot will be enough of a challenge to us, leave alone the remaining ninja forces."

Rider nodded, agreeing with this sound strategy.

"There has to be a different method." Orochimaru's yellow eyes gleamed, and Sasuke watched him, disinterestedly.

A long pause, and Orochimaru's eyes grew brighter, the light flickering off them eerily.

"And I believe I have the answer."

* * *

Please Review !


	5. The Snake Invites Everyone

I own nothing.

A cookie for **imsabbel **for guessing the identity of Berserker correctly. A cream pie to the next person who guesses any other one correctly.

Also, it was pointed out that I haven't placed exactly **when **this is happening – it is set after Gaara Retrieval, but before the death of Asuma. However, I might take a few minor liberties with the timeframes.

* * *

"…_I have a plan…"_

The dew-laden grass crunched underfoot, the silence of the morning shattered by the sounds of rapid movement. Multiple purple-and-gray blurs travelled out of the base of Otogakure in all directions. Each of them bore a sealed scroll tucked into their belt.

Sasuke Uchiha stared at the multiple blurs from his vantage point on the roof of Otogakure, his mind playing back the finer details of Orochimaru's plan.

"_You see, Sasuke-kun, we _hypothesize _that it is Konoha who possesses the remaining Servants – yet can we be truly sure of the fact ? There remain five servants, out of which Archer is _clearly _not from Konoha, as the leaf fools would have attacked us if they knew of our base's location like he did. That leaves four. Although Konoha would likely have at least one Servant, more likely two, that still leaves two Servants unaccounted for. And we have to eliminate everybody." _

_Orochimaru threw back his head and laughed, the sound reminiscent of a snake's hypnotic hissing._

"_However, whoever the Masters are, they are likely to have discovered the _purpose _behind this Grail War. And every pathetic human on the planet would have the same thought running through their heads in this situation – defeat everyone and get the wish. Therefore, all we must do is give them an opportunity to easily defeat all their enemies – and the fools will play right into our hands."_

_Sasuke nodded, Rider loudly proclaiming his agreement as well. Saber had seemed disinterested in the plan, content to merely stay beside Orochimaru and obey his every command. It made Sasuke a little sick._

"_Now," continued Orochimaru, his yellow eyes gleaming in the low light of the bunker, his face shadowed and eerier than usual, "do you know of a place called **Shogodachi **?"_

Sasuke played his mind over the remaining strategy Orochimaru had set forth. It was, he admitted grudgingly, a good idea. Running his fingers through his hair, Sasuke gave in to an uncharacteristic impulse and lay down on the roof. This Grail War had the potential to change it all. His revenge could be sated. But if he lost…Orochimaru would control absolute power. Or would it be Konoha ? Maybe a new player entirely ?

He jumped into a fighting stance as someone appeared beside him, only to relax when it was Rider. Returning to his contemplation, Sasuke made a decision. **He would not lose. **

Rider stared into the distance. "War is approaching."

This much was obvious. Orochimaru's plan would speed up the timetable of the Holy Grail War by a huge factor. Sasuke gave no reply.

Rider continued, "What of Saber and the snake ?"

Sasuke scowled. He had always planned on destroying Orochimaru once he learnt enough from the man. Now it appeared his timetable would also have to be sped up. "…They must be destroyed." he conceded.

Rider broke out into a grin. "This will be interesting. Can I count on you to handle the snake, while I take out Saber, if the chance comes ?"

"I am an _Uchiha. _Orochimaru is nothing to me." Sasuke felt he had to retort, since the man had questioned his ability. "I only doubt your ability to defeat Saber. Is she not supposedly the most powerful of all classes ?"

Rider kept grinning. "Luckily enough, this Saber is relatively weak. In fact, she is so average for a Heroic Spirit that she is unremarkable to the majority of the world, and the people know _me_," said Rider, with a hint of pride, "more than they know _her_. She will still be a challenge, but nothing I cannot handle."

"I know neither of you." shot back Sasuke, but he was inwardly pleased. Perhaps Orochimaru had overestimated his Servant's combat ability.

Rider laughed.

* * *

The messengers continued onward. They were failed test subjects, the Curse Seal implanted on them malfunctioning and refusing them any sort of power. They were merely Genin rank at best, but the warped seal had twisted their minds into complete servitude to Orochimaru. The Sannin had been known to state that if he could only replicate this variant on the Cursed Seal it would be his best creation yet. However, the mystery had eluded him. The messengers continued on, spreading out into their various paths, knowing they were on a suicide mission, but refusing - no, unable - to turn away.

The message they bore was the same. Orochimaru, in a fit of whimsy, had composed it much like a formal dinner invitation.

_Orochimaru of the Sannin_

_Leader of Otogakure_

_would request the presence of yourself and your Servants_

_in **Shogodachi** in **five days time**_

_for the **Holy Grail War**_

_If you have no Servants, you will be slaughtered on sight._

As and when each messenger reached his target village, he would walk to the gate, and place the message-containing scroll on the ground beside him, shouting loudly that he had a message, before activating a suicide technique and killing himself. Orochimaru did not want any information leaks, after all.

* * *

"What the hell is this ?!" shouted the Raikage, thumping his desk. The abused desk shattered, splinters flying all across the room.

His gate guards ignored the common occurrence, and stifled their chuckles at the secretary's exasperated sigh.

"We have no idea, Raikage-sama."

"Holy Grail War ? Servants ? Has the snake gone _mad _?"

The guards said nothing.

The Raikage's brother cut in. "You know bro, I could go, yo ! Check out this Grail, kick Orochi's tail-"

A faced his brother. "You want to taste my **Iron Claw **?!"

"Yo chill bro-"

A cut him off. "I will not chill! You know you are banned from leaving the village ever since you went to Iwa and broke the statue of their First Tsuchikage while drunk !"

"That bro, was a low blow." replied B, dejected.

"However," continued A. "You have given me a good idea. Someone should go and see what the crafty snake is planning this time." The Raikage faced the still-kneeling guards.

"Fetch me C and Nii Yugito. They have a snake to observe."

The guards bowed once more and hurriedly left.

"And get me a new damn desk !" The bellow could be heard across Kumo.

* * *

Gaara turned, regarding the Suna ninja in front of him thoughtfully. Orochimaru must be planning something, and it must be something vitally important if he was willing to 'invite' enemy villages. Gaara did not wish to give in to him. What if Orochimaru's plan depended on the villages sending shinobi ? Then surely the best option would be for him to ignore Orochimaru's message completely. On the other hand, what if he could stall or completely stop the plan by sending someone ? Unlikely as it sounded, he did know that Konoha was likely to send someone as soon as it heard of this gambit of Orochimaru's, if they didn't know of it already.

That raised some interesting possibilities.

Gaara said, quietly, after a minute, "Contact Temari. Give her the details. Ask her to discover what the Leaf is doing. If they don't know about this situation, she is to inform them."

He turned around, dismissing the man. The Suna ninja rushed to perform his duty.

Temari had been stationed temporarily at Leaf Village to act as a liaison. She had been protesting vociferously against it, but Kankuro had assured him that Temari secretly wanted to go meet the shadow-user. Temari had heard him and threatened to disembowel him with her war fan and that she would 'make him eat his makeup' but Kankuro had nimbly dodged her rush and Gaara had decided to send her if only for some peace and quiet. She had gone away, grumbling, but Gaara was _sure _she had left with a slight spring in her step, as of anticipation. Perhaps he had to start planning on killing the shadow-user shortly, although Naruto might not appreciate it. _Yes_, concluded Gaara, _Naruto would not appreciate it._ Naruto was sentimental about his friends, and he recollected Naruto had known the shadow boy somewhat well. Still, it was best to be prepared.

Gaara sat down in his chair. Maybe he could just frighten him a little ?

* * *

The Mizukage received the news with a blank face, as he was wont to of late. His ninja were gossiping about his supposed weakness, since he had been noticed stumbling a few times recently and he talked very rarely, but no one dared say it to his face. His guards hurriedly left him when they realized no order was forthcoming. Besides, they had a war to fight.

Kiri was in the middle of their bloody civil war, and really, thought the guards, they had better things to worry about than some suicidal Oto shinobi. They had to put down that accursed woman with a dual bloodline, after all, not to mention her pet _dog_ with the Byakugan. Bloodlines deserved to be exterminated, every loyal Kiri ninja knew.

The Mizukage sat still in his office, and with a hoarse voice, commanded all his ANBU and staff to leave the building to partake in the war effort. With silent bows, his soldiers obeyed his command and left.

The very fabric of reality seemed to _fold _around the corner of the room, and a man in an orange mask stepped out from the tear. His black cloak with red clouds fluttered in the slight breeze from the open window.

The man stared at the Mizukage, Sharingan eyes spinning red, extracting all the information he could from the Mizukage's mind.

_Orochimaru…what does he mean ? _pondered Madara. _I must ask Nagato. And now some loose ends must be tied up…_

"My dear Mizukage." began Madara, knowing full well the Mizukage could not respond to him. Still, Madara had a penchant for the dramatic. "You must have noticed, your body is not responding properly." The Mizukage was unlikely to notice anything, near brain-dead as he was from the control of Madara. "A side effect of the Sharingan's control, especially when done for long periods, such as on yourself. A terrible shame. However, I cannot afford this anymore, lest people in Kiri grow suspicious. I think perhaps our alliance should come to an end, hm ? I have finished my work with you, and besides, I _do _need your Sanbi."

Something within Yagura's suppressed mind must have recognized the threat, and his body began to twitch nervously, his right hand flexing.

Madara smiled. _How amusing._

With a flourish, Madara brought out a wicked looking scimitar-blade. Yagura's mind desperately tried to reassert control of his body, only succeeding in stumbling backwards a few paces.

"Goodnight, Mizukage-sama." said Madara, cheerfully.

A swipe, and it was done. The Mizukage's throat was slit, and he began gagging on his blood. Yagura collapsed on the floor, the last vestiges of life draining from him as a deep red river.

_And now, _thought Madara, as he warped Yagura's body and all traces of blood to the bottom of the nearest lake, _I can come back here with Deidara in a few weeks once the Sanbi finishes reforming itself. After, of course, I get rid of the snake._

Madara paused before leaving the office. _Really, I'm being most impolite._

With a smile on his lips, Madara wrote on the wall of the Mizukage's office. Satisfied with his handiwork, Madara warped himself away.

Hours later, when the shinobi of Kiri came to call upon the Mizukage for taking part in the climactic battle that signified the rebels' all-out attack, they came upon an empty office and read, on the wall,

"Out for a Swim."

Their most powerful Shinobi missing and their morale shattered by the sudden absence of their figurehead, the loyalists were destined to be overwhelmed after a long and drawn out fight.

* * *

The Hokage, unknowingly mimicking the Raikage, shouted, "What the hell is this ?!" and then, instead of smashing her desk, flung it out of the window.

Kotetsu and Izumo, gate guards at the time of the incident, cowered at her fury. Perhaps if they kept quiet and hid behind the chair and sat _very, very, still _she would forget about them ?

"Damn it." she said, turning to the window. "I need Kakashi, Shikamaru, and the brat."

So far, so good. She seemed to have forgotten about them. Kotetsu stealthily gave Izumo a thumbs up.

"ANBU." she said, and a black blur suddenly flew out the window to do her bidding.

In minutes, Shikamaru Nara, Uzumaki Naruto, and Hatake Kakashi strolled into the room, closely trailed by three strange men the Chuunin hadn't seen before. All of them shot Izumo and Kotetsu curious looks, and Naruto seemed to be on the verge of saying something.

_Quiet, you loudmouth. _mouthed Izumo. _We're in mortal peril. _mouthed Kotetsu.

Tsunade turned to regard the six people in front of her, and then turned her gaze to the two still cowering behind a chair. A vein in her temple throbbed. Before she could do anything, Kotetsu and Izumo felt taps on their shoulders. Turning around cautiously, they came face to face with Hatake Kakashi.

"Boo." smiled Kakashi.

"YAAAAAGH !"

And in a display that Maito Gai would have found youthful, the two Chuunin made it out of the office at record speeds. Really, thought Kakashi, this could be a useful method to do speed training.

In short words of no more than two syllables ( Naruto was at the meeting, after all ) Tsunade spelt out the situation.

"Damn." said Kakashi.

"What a drag." drawled Shikamaru.

"Why the heck did Orochi-teme get a Servant ?!" screamed Naruto.

The Servants took this revelation stoically, although that was because they did not know of Orochimaru. "This…Orochimaru, is rather daring." noted Lancer, appreciatively.

Everyone ignored him, although Kakashi did snicker quietly to himself. Tsunade paused. "There's more…Naruto, Kakashi." Both looked at her attentively. "The message further said…that Uchiha Sasuke is also a Master." Orochimaru had included this little tidbit in the scroll sent to Konoha. He knew this would make them more likely to show up.

The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Naruto had visibly paled, and Kakashi's uncovered eye was wide with surprise and regret. Shikamaru watched them closely, seeing Naruto slump, his head down, hair shadowing his eyes.

Caster stared at his Master's sudden reaction, and seemed torn between placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder to comfort him and continuing with what he was doing earlier, which was studying the wheeled carts plying on the road visible from the window. Assassin made a little, disapproving snort, and Lancer's steely gaze fixed on Naruto.

_This is bad, _noted Shikamaru, _Kakashi-sensei is professional enough to contemplate fighting Sasuke with the intent to kill…but will Naruto ?_

Suddenly, Naruto's head shot up, his eyes burning. "It doesn't matter. I'll beat him so badly he can't stand and knock sense into his head, dattebayo !"

Kakashi smiled, and Shikamaru sighed. _What a drag…_

"And besides," continued Naruto. "I won't get unlimited ramen until I beat him."

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU LITTLE BRAT ?!" shouted Tsunade, hands twitching as if to throttle Naruto.

"Unlimited ramen." said Naruto, cheekily grinning and sticking his tongue out. "It's my wish."

Caster was openly laughing, Lancer's eyes twinkled, and Assassin stared at Naruto disapprovingly.

"However, on a serious note." cut in Kakashi, and everyone in the room paused. "We are at a major disadvantage here. Orochimaru has five days time to set up anything he wants at Shogodachi. Furthermore, it is close to his home base."

Shikamaru nodded.

Tsunade asked, "Are you saying you don't want to go ?"

Forestalling Naruto, who was incredulously trying to say something no doubt quite rude, Kakashi replied, "On the contrary, going there is perhaps our only option, if we wish to defeat Orochimaru and possibly retrieve Sasuke. Their location is too well-hidden otherwise."

Naruto vehemently nodded, and Shikamaru groaned.

"However, I do suggest we set out a clear plan, and perhaps take along some help, don't you agree Nara-san ?"

"Yes." said Shikamaru. "All of us have to come up with a plan that will stand up to whatever Orochimaru has in store for us."

Lancer cut in smoothly, eyes shining. "I can help with that."

Tsunade eyed him. "You ?"

"Yes." he smiled. "Perhaps the three of us should introduce ourselves – with real names - and our abilities to each other ? And the shinobi should tell us their abilities as well. I should also request you to provide me any information as possible on this Uchiha Sasuke and Orochimaru. After all, knowing ourselves and the enemy-"

Shikamaru cut in, in a strange tone. "We need not fear the results of a hundred battles, is that it…Lancer ?"

Lancer's eyes twinkled. "Of course, Master. It is heartening to see someone so…well-read."

Tsunade seemed unconvinced. "Why should I ask my shinobi to reveal their abilities to-"

Shikamaru interrupted. "Hokage-sama. If Lancer is who I believe he is…he is the best man for the job."

Tsunade stared uncertainly at Shikamaru. She was still against revealing her shinobi's abilities to strange men, however…the Nara genius was unlikely to have argued with her unless he knew something very crucial about the man who called himself Lancer. "Very well."

"Um, Baa-chan." interrupted Naruto. "One final question…what is Shogodachi ?"

Tsunade's head hit her desk, and Kakashi began the laborious process of explaining to Naruto that it was an abandoned village in the Land of Sound that rumor said was possessed by a vengeful spirit, although this was extremely unlikely.

Caster seemed slightly taken aback, and Lancer was trying to maintain his neutral façade, but Assassin was openly scoffing.

"A GHOST ?" screamed Naruto, standing up.

And so the introductions, descriptions, and planning began, after they had stopped Naruto from attempting to jump out of the window.

* * *

The messenger to Iwagakure never made it. Halfway there, his life was cut short by an arrow to his head.

Kabuto landed gracefully beside the dead man, removing the scroll from his body with a flick of the wrist and reading it.

"Shogodachi ?" Kabuto pushed up his glasses. _I know better than to enter the snake's lair, Orochimaru._

He jumped back to the trees, informing Archer of the changes in the situation and began planning his strategy.

* * *

So ? How was it ? There was a clue as to **Lancer's **identity in this chapter, and a cream pie to anyone who gets it right.

Please review !


	6. The Zombies Kill People

I own nothing.

One of the reviewers pointed out a blunder of mine. My mistake entirely. So I've changed the first chapter very slightly. Instead of the cliché 'different dimension', now it's the cliché 'Naruto is set in a post-apocalyptic future.' To be honest, the second one makes more sense, since that would be why heroes from the Earth's history are called on, and not famous shinobi or something. In this case, it's easier to see how Shikamaru could guess Lancer's identity. In a post-apocalyptic, warring society, military treatises are likely to be preserved, especially in a clan as strategic as the Nara.

Speaking of which, a cream pie to **imsabbel, Blood Hawk, and Aerial Atom** for guessing Lancer's identity.

On with the story !

* * *

Neji Hyuuga tightened his shinobi gear, blank eyes staring away into the sunset. His mind was still in a state of chaos from when Hokage-sama had explained the situation to him. Neji exhaled loudly. _Mine not to reason why, mine but to do and die. _Calming his mind, Neji joined the motley group waiting for him at the gates of Konoha.

"_We need a scout." Lancer said. "Considering Archer is one of the opponents, it is very likely that he would prefer waiting at a distance and picking off people one by one. A scout is a necessity."_

_Surprisingly, it had been Naruto who had spoken. "Ne, Kakashi-sensei. Don't the Hyuuga have that Byakujan or Hakupan or something ?"_

_Kakashi nodded. "It's __**Byakugan, **__Naruto. And a Hyuuga would be perfect for this mission."_

_Lancer had enquired of the Byakugan, and Shikamaru had succinctly replied that it was 'troublesome'. Kakashi had then explained about the Byakugan to Lancer and the other Servants. Obviously, Lancer had instantly agreed that a Hyuuga would be ideal, remarking that with the range of vision a Hyuuga had, it would have to be an exceptional Archer indeed to avoid the white gaze._

_Again, it was Naruto who spoke up. "Could it be Neji ?"_

"_Neji, huh ?" wondered the Hokage. "Is he that talented brat you supposedly defeated in the Chuunin exams ?"_

_Naruto had protested violently that it wasn't a 'supposed' defeat, but no one paid him any heed._

"_And a Branch family member as well." mused the Hokage. "So Hiashi and the elders will send him out for the mission, with no fear of losing their white eyes .Very well."_

Rock Lee strode out to the gates of Konoha. _YOSH ! _Lee had no idea why he had been selected for the mission, but really, he thought, unknowingly echoing Neji, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was given a chance to SHOWCASE HIS SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH ! And if that meant dealing with the unyouthful Orochimaru or Sasuke, he did not mind it one bit. _A GENIUS OF HARD WORK WILL TRIUMPH ! _he shouted in his thoughts. Although he did wonder why they made him get this tattoo on his hand…

"_Simply put, we need a decoy." Lancer had said._

"_A decoy ?" questioned Kakashi._

"_Someone to pretend to be my Master. Someone Orochimaru and Sasuke will underestimate. Someone they believe will have no shrewdness, no cunning, no strategy at all. I realize," Lancer continued apologetically, "that as ninja, none of your shinobi will be so straightforward and blunt, but-"_

"_Stop right there." said the Hokage. "I know just the person."_

Temari of the Sand sailed to the gate of Konoha on her war-fan. She wasn't the Kazekage's first-born for nothing, and her mind was sharp, being trained in strategy, politics and psychology from when she could walk. She was sharp, one of the best – if not the best – in Suna. She had never found anyone who could match her. _Except for the Nara, _a small part of her mind reminded. Her thoughts turned in the direction of the shadow-user, and anyone who could see her would have seen an expression of vague annoyance, but also, a small smile on her lips.

"_Gaara has received the same message." Tsunade had said._

"_Is he coming ?!" Naruto shouted, almost jumping on the desk at the prospect of journeying with his good friend and fellow Jinchuuriki…well, ex-Jinchuuriki._

"_No, you damn brat !" Tsunade flicked him with her finger, sending him smashing into the wall. "However, he has insisted on providing us with some help." The Hokage turned in Shikamaru's direction and gave him a wicked grin._

_It was all Shikamaru could do to say "Oh shit."_

Their preparations concluded, the team from Konoha set out on their journey. The group consisted only of Neji, Lee, Naruto, Temari, Shikamaru, and Caster and Lancer; Lancer had pointed out that Assassin was a wonderful surprise to have, and so Kakashi and Assassin were journeying to Shogodachi via a different route, travelling slow and stealthy to avoid letting any spies Orochimaru had know of the existence of a third Servant from Konoha. All the members of the party were wearing gloves, save Naruto. Kakashi and Shikamaru had pointed out that it was obvious that Naruto would have a Servant if Sasuke did, by following the grail's twisted logic, and that Orochimaru, not to mention Sasuke, would clearly expect it of him; and Lee's gloves were perhaps a _touch _too short, exposing a tiny edge of his faked red Command Seals, visible only to the sharpest of ninja.

The last had been Kakashi's idea, and Lancer had favoured him with a grin and agreed that it was a good plan.

Lee fiddled with his gloves. He didn't want to complain, but really, the gloves were too short. He wanted to take them off, but the Hokage had ordered him not to…he masterfully resisted the urge to scratch his tattoo. Why had they even made him get it anyway ?

* * *

The air _warped _in Nagato's room, and Berserker appeared in front of Nagato, roaring. The beast clearly expected an attack. Nagato waved him back.

Madara Uchiha stepped out of the warping air and stared at the massive man standing next to Nagato. His eyes flickered to the clearly-defined seal on the emaciated hand of Nagato, and the remnants of the summoning circle, concealed under dust and earth, but visible to the Sharingan.

"I was about to tell you," said Madara, voice tinged with a hint of false irony, "of Orochimaru's delusions regarding Servants and wars, but it appears you know more about it than I do. _Care to share ?" _The last sentence was hissed out, Madara's red eyes slitted.

Nagato considered his options. He was unsure if he could defeat the masked man, even with Berserker. After all, Madara's abilities were a perfect counter – if Berserker's mad, linear rush was met with one of the wormholes the man seemed to conjure so easily, the beast would be sent to a pocket dimension of Madara's with no way back.

So, with a sigh, Nagato explained.

"One wish." spoke Madara, and his voice dripped with greed. His posture had suddenly changed to something more _predatory_, and he continued, "One wish for anything in the world." Was it just Nagato's imagination or did that last sentence sound slightly…_longing ?_

"The wish is for peace." cut in Nagato, eyes locked on the man.

Madara seemed to collect himself. "Of course." he agreed. "Now, this will be of interest to you. Orochimaru has invited the Masters of the war to Shogodachi, where there will be an all-out battle between all of them. He has sent this invitation to all the villages. Kiri will send no one. Iwa, Kumo, and _Konoha _on the other hand-"

"I will go." Nagato's monotone cut in again.

"No." and Madara's voice was so firm, so full of power, even the self-proclaimed God did not argue "We will send someone we can afford to lose, along with Berserker. You must help with the sealing of the Jinchuuriki here. You are the only one who can control the Gedo Mazo now."

"Very well." ground out Nagato, although he _detested _the thought of obeying the commands of this man.

Two cloaked figures entered the room seconds later, one carrying something strapped to his back.

"You called for us ?" asked a monotone voice.

"Yes." smiled Madara. "This is the mission." and he explained.

The shorter man said nothing, but the taller one asked, "What the hell's this about ? I thought we were after the Jinchuuriki, not the snake."

Madara stared at the man with an implacable gaze. "You have known who I was since I controlled Kiri. Your _place _is to obey me."

The taller man flinched, and said nothing.

"Now, Nagato." said Madara, turning. "How do you control that…beast ?"

"Berserker." said Nagato, and the beast roared. "You will obey every command Kisame and Itachi choose to give you." One of the seals on his hand glowed with the force of his command, and shattered into so much fine dust that vanished shortly. Nagato and Madara stared at it with interest.

Itachi spoke. "Come."

The two swept out of the room, their cloaks billowing behind them, followed by a mindless beast.

* * *

"Go, go, go !" shouted the Oto jounin, and the team of Chuunin he was supervising strained harder. Their duty was currently to transport more than fifty different experiments of Orochimaru from Oto to Shogodachi. The experiments, mindless drones who attacked all in sight, were sealed away in chambers closed by seals keyed only to Orochimaru's chakra.

"Is that the last batch ?" panted the Chuunin.

"Yes." grunted the Jounin, eyes not looking up from his clipboard. "Now move out, boys. We have a role to play as well."

All across Oto, squads of shinobi left the village, their paths converging on Shogodachi. They were the strikeforce and the surprise Orochimaru had planned to eradicate their enemies – or so they believed.

Orochimaru was too devious to rely on something all his enemies would come to expect. No, these people were nothing more and nothing less than cannon fodder for his enemies. If one of them got in a lucky shot – well, so much the better, but their main aim was to distract and delay.

In a warren underneath Shogodachi, Orochimaru laid out some carefully planned sealing arrays. He was not as good with this as the pervert, he would admit. But he had certainly picked up something along the way…and besides, he was more than willing to dabble in arts his idiotic teammate had refused to touch.

* * *

Nii Yugito didn't know whether the people that were chasing her were even human or not. They had shrugged off her every attack and. they. just. refused. to. die ! A scythe caught her across the leg, and she stumbled and fell. The black abominations were on her, and her skin roasted beneath the flames it was emitting. The pain too much for her, she fell into a pained unconsciousness.

"Heh. Too easy, for one of Jashin-sama's acolytes."

Kakuzu said nothing, hefting the Jinchuuriki onto his shoulder, and watched as his partner wasted his time on one of his foolish rituals. One of these days they would be ambushed by his need to delay them and – Kakuzu paused. _It seems today is that day._

The fire mask, still outside his body, swivelled around in a flash and a roaring flame lit up the confined space of the cavern they were in. A Kumo shinobi jumped away from his precarious hiding spot, the edges of his clothes on fire.

C had trailed the notoriously hard-to-find Nii to this cavern – and had found her being abducted by the Akatsuki.

_A Kumo shinobi, then. _thought Kakuzu. Out loud, he said, "Stop. Or I will slit the throat of your jinchuuriki." Of course, Kakuzu couldn't really kill the Jinchuuriki, not if they wanted her beast, but then the Kumo ninja didn't know that.

C paused. _Dammit. _Inside the cavern, secluded as it was, it was hard for anyone to track any chakra signatures – which is why the private Nii Yugito had made it her second home. It further meant any of his flashy jutsu wouldn't draw anyone's attention. _Unless.._C's eyes flickered to the masked man's partner, who was lying impaled on some sort of circle with a scythe, of all things, through his ribs. Surprisingly, the man appeared to be still alive.

In a flash, C was right beside the prone form of Hidan, kneeling by his head. "Drop her. Or I will kill your partner."

Kakuzu couldn't help laughing.

C paused, confused by the laughter.

It was over in seconds.

Hidan _bit_ down on C's leg, the curse activating immediately as he swallowed some of C's blood. The wound to Hidan's ribs replicated itself on C, who collapsed instantly, screaming in agony as Hidan rolled over, the scythe shredding his torso into chunks of meat.

"Let that be a lesson to you, heathen." snarled Hidan.

Kakuzu chuckled once more, and the duo left, Hidan confident that C's painful death would give him enough compensation that Jashin would forgive him for the incomplete ritual.

C stirred, eyes flickering open after what seemed an eternity. The burning pain in his stomach reminded him of his plight. His course was clear. He dipped his hand in his own blood. He had a message to pass on.

* * *

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